Category Archives: Money Funnies

Will I live to see 85?

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 85?buy xifaxan online blackmenheal.org/wp-content/languages/new/mg/xifaxan.html no prescription https://londonbes.education/Media/new/best-essay-writing-service.html ’ He asked, ‘Do you […]

Math in the 20th and 21st Centuries

1. Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or .buy amoxil online https://apwh.org/wp-content/languages/new/amoxil.html […]

Telemarketer

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, “Is this George Jiggerstein?” This didn’t sound anything like my name, so I asked, “Who is calling?” The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then […]

The Pefect New Wife

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” “Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife. “I’m going to […]

The Cost of a Girls Night Out

(Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married….If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor.https://theoryofknowledge.net/wp-content/languages/new/christian-editing-services.html ) The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!buy diflucan […]

Open Your Mind to the Possibilities

“Rabbi,” the man said, “Explain the Talmud to me.” “Very well,” he said. “First, I will ask you a question. If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?” “The dirty one,” answers the man. “No. They look at each other and the […]

Art of Thievery

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.buy flagyl canada https://cpff.ca/wp-content/languages/new/canada/flagyl.html no prescription However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.https://www.sinverrugasylunares.com/wp-content/languages/new/albuterol.html When asked how he could mastermind […]

Cost of Road Rage

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her […]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was […]

Nine expressions women use…

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch […]

Getting What You Wish For

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ‘Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV; but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal. […]

The Right Way

A young scholar from New York was invited to become Rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first shabbath, a hot debate erupted as to whether one should or should not stand during the reading of the Ten Commandments. The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the […]