by Gunjan Saraf – https://www.workinghumor.com (With apologies to Walt Whitman) O Teacher! My teacher! The awful exam draws near; And with every passing day, I feel my rising fear; My text books all feel heavier, My notes make less and less sense. But O heart! heart! heart! O wavering nervous system reset, When in the […]
Category Archives: Money Funnies
‘Twas Right After Thanksgiving (in California) And all through the house, Not a channel was showing any shows worth the price. The men stood outside with their chests very bare, And the steaks they were grilling were still oh so rare. Black Friday had Mom at the shops early on, fighting for bargains, using her […]
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). A: We import all […]
There was a painter named Wayne who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the synagogue decided to do a big restoration job on […]
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very […]
Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Man who scratches behind should not bite fingernails. War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. Man who fight […]
Acheson’s Rule of the Bureaucracy : A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. Rule of Bureaucracies : It is impossible to distinguish, from a distance, whether the bureaucrats associated with your project are simply sitting on their hands, or frantically trying to cover their asses. Principle of Displaced […]
A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?” She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.” “If you […]
Schwartz & Jesus Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when He decided that He really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, he saw a sign for Schwartz, the Tailor. So, He went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Schwartz prepare a new robe for Him. A few days later, when […]
This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn’t. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers. Good Luck! 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. […]
When you have an “I Hate My Job” day, try this: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and […]
A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ” House ” for instance, is feminine: ” la casa. ” ” Pencil, ” however, is masculine: ” el lapiz.. ” A student asked, ” What gender is ‘computer’? ” Instead of giving the […]