The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room. “A football player,” “A doctor,” “An astronaut,” “The president,” “A fireman,” “A teacher,” “A race car driver.” Everyone that is, except Tommy. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and […]
Category Archives: Money Funnies
All the girls had ugly gym uniforms? It took five minutes for the TV warm up? Nearly everyone’s Mom was at home when the kids got home from school? Nobody owned a purebred dog? When a quarter was a decent allowance? You’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny? Your Mom wore nylons that […]
Joe Smith started the day early, having set his alarm clock (made in Japan) for 6:00 am. While his coffee pot (made in China) is perking, he puts his blow dryer (made in Taiwan) to work and shaves with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong). He puts on a dress shirt (made in Taiwan), […]
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? – He didn’t have the guts. What do skeletons say before dining? – Bone appetite. What do ghosts serve for dessert?buy singulair online https://healthsystems24.com/wp-content/languages/new/singulair.html no prescription – Ice Scream. What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? – Spelling. What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? […]
Here’s a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day. There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.https://kidneyurostonecentre.com/wp-content/languages/new/amitriptyline.html Now, if there is a blind man […]
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put decaf in […]
Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates. Criminals on Wall Street stole a few chocolates from the boxes and replaced them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rated these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes were then sold all over the world to investors. Eventually somebody bites into a turd […]
Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support. Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup. Try eating it […]
A mother overhears her 5 year-old doing his addition tables. 2 plus 2 “the son of a bitch” is 4.buy albuterol online www.mabvi.org/wp-content/languages/new/usa/albuterol.html no prescription 3 plus 3 “the son of a bitch” is 6. He tells his mother that’s what the teacher is teaching. So Mom has a conversation with the teacher, which yields […]
An 18 year old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.buy elavil online taxmama.com/wp-content/forum/styles/new/engl/elavil.html no prescription Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig […]
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull … But that’s not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus […]
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when ’ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous. And the Squares were filled with brilliant, natural comedians. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. […]