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Senior Sound Of Music

by TaxMama on March 18, 2010

 

TaxMama adapted some of these.  I challenge you to add your own lyrics or stanzas.

 

Sung to the tune of…you know…

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of tax returns tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

[click to continue…]

Jury Duty

March 11, 2010

If you’ve ever been called for jury duty,  you have to know this is priceless!
If you haven’t…you’ll enjoy it even more.
As for me? I am scheduled for Jury Duty very soon.
  
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court by by Bob Terrell  & Marcellus Buchanan. They are things people actually said in court, [...]

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No Profit in Waiting For God

February 26, 2010

 

After a major storm, a flood had overtaken the town. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by.
The man in the row boat told the man on the stoop to get in and he’d save him.
The man on the [...]

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The Good Senator Dies

February 19, 2010

The Good Senator Dies
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official [...]

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Girls in My Circle

February 12, 2010

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you’re going through things with your man.
Another friend is [...]

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Money Funnies – Marketing 101

February 5, 2010

Several people have asked for an explanation of Marketing.
Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”
– That’s Direct Marketing.

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Saving You Money

January 29, 2010

Better than paper towels and a lot less expensive
Coffee filters …. Who knew! And you can buy 1,000 at the local discount store for almost nothing even the large ones.
1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.
2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome… Coffee filters are lint-free so they’ll [...]

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The Mind of 6th Grader

January 22, 2010

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, “You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell [...]

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Grandpa & The IRS

January 15, 2010

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that [...]

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The Magic Lantern

January 8, 2010

I would like to tell you a story. A few days ago I was walking on the beach and I found a magic lantern. After I rubbed it a genie appeared, thanked me for releasing and said he would grant me one wish.
I thought for a minute and said, I have always wanted to go [...]

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