Category Archives: Money Funnies

Assess First, Shoot Later

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes — not rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass […]

Simplifying English

The European Commission was considering an agreement whereby English will become the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the alternative possibility.* As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government has conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known […]

Older Women

Andy Rooney says, “As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few reasons why.” An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think. An older woman knows herself well enough to […]

True Wisdom of the (s)ages

  “When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.” —Albert Einstein  

Are YOU the Weakest Link?

Here is a very simple little test comprising of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.  And no cheating.  On your mark, get set….GO! 1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place.  In which […]

Creation Goes to the Dogs

On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

Turtle Swoop

A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in […]

You’ll Melt Away

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would  melt. No matter what, metal, wood, plastic-anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.  The king despaired. What could […]

Honesty vs Practicality

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he began crying, God appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?” The woodcutter told Him that he had dropped his axe into the water.

Afraid to Fly

Now that tax season is over (at least, phase I), today TaxMama® wants to treat you to a little fun.  Until now, I’ve preyed on your fear of taxes. Today, let’s play with your fear of flying.

Children Write to God

A teacher asked her class to write notes to God. Here are some of the notes the children handed in: Dear God: I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday.  That was cool!

Soap and Water

In honor of the Easter Dinner and Passover Seder, we present… A minister was asked to Easter dinner by one of his parishioners who he knew as being an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the  dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.