Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary on Thursday. His wife was really irate. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!” The next morning he got up early and left for […]
Category Archives: Money Funnies
A woman who has made up her mind to die is still afraid of a pistol or a gun. Or is it that the explosion would derange her costume? (Professor at the Breakfast Table) Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. (The Autocrat of the Breakfast-table) God’s plan made a hopeful […]
On July 17th, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97. The 3 brothers walked into old man Henry Ford’s office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that 3 gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They […]
Divorce: Future tense of marriage. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Classic: Books which people praise but do not read. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home […]
A new priest, born and raised in Texas, is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his first sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, and then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, […]
Part of rebuilding New Orleans often challenges residents with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here is a great letter an attorney […]
1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather—who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” —Author Unknown 2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” […]
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but never take a pretzel. And this went on for more then 3 years. The […]
“FENDER SKIRTS”. A term I haven’t heard in a long time and thinking about “fender skirts”started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice like “curb feelers” And “steering knobs.” (AKA) suicide knob. Since thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first. Any kids will probably […]
My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her.buy xifaxan online www.epsa-online.org/wp-content/languages/new/prescription/xifaxan.html no prescription buy canada orlistat online http://healthinschools.org/wp-content/languages/new/canada/orlistat.html no prescription She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven […]
A little girl became restless as the minister’s fund-raising appeal sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? Ask TaxMama :: Where taxes are fun and answers are free TaxQuips :: The number ONE tax podcast […]