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Category Archives: Money Funnies
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation. If Man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls […]
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If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to […]
Hospital Hostility An extremely ill man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which left him feeling as if he constantly had to have a bowel movement. After several uneventful trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was just another false alarm and stayed put. Suddenly he filled […]
A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. Sales were way down, he had put everything he had into the business, and most of all – he owed everybody and his debts were enormous. As a last resort he went the rabbi and poured his heart out. When he had finished, the rabbi said, […]
I ran into a stranger as he passed by. Oh excuse me please” was my reply. He said, “Please excuse me too; I wasn’t watching for you.” We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said good-bye. But at home a different story is told, How we treat […]
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lb. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What’s the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo? […]
Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents. Do not stay at home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home. (that’s 37 % already) Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% percent of all accidents occur to pedestrians.(now that’s 51%) Avoid traveling by air, trains or […]
A young man was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was. He sat quietly, pondering this profound question. Finally, after giving it a lot of thought, he sighed and said, “I think this was the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware.” […]
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Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.. Son: “I will choose my own bride!” Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.” Son: “Well, in that case…OK” Next Day Father approaches Bill Gates. Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.order xenical online medstaff.englewoodhealth.org/wp-content/languages/new/order/xenical.html no prescription http://wsbarberschool.com/wp-content/languages/new/resume-writing-services-nj.html ” Bill Gates: “But […]