Category Archives: Money Funnies

The Economy Is So Bad That

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.  Taxpayers don’t have any taxes to pay.

NO NURSING HOME FOR ME!

About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I noticed that all the staff, ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very […]

The Sheer Genius of Politicians

In a bid to stem taxpayer losses for bad loans guaranteed by federal housing agencies Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac, Senator Bob Corker (R-Tenn) proposed that borrowers be required to make a 5% down payment in order to qualify.buy uk lexapro online www.mabvi.org/wp-content/languages/new/uk/lexapro.html no prescription https://www.playavistaorthodontics.com/wp-content/languages/new/flagyl.html His proposal was rejected 57-42 on a party-line vote […]

Oh Groan!

The ability to make and understand puns is considered to be the highest level of language development.  Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:   1.    A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per […]

Two Choices

Young People Rule!

(Or the Generation Gap) Bob, A self-confident college student was walking along the beach one day, when met an elderly gentleman, Mr. Franklin. They started talking. Young Bob explained to Mr. Franklin why it must be impossible for the older generation to understand or even identify with Bob’s generation.purchase valtrex online https://medstaff.englewoodhealth.org/wp-content/languages/new/purchase/valtrex.html no prescription

The Italian Wedding Test

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.buy synthroid online https://healingtohappy.com/wp-content/languages/new/synthroid.html no prescription http://auneec.ateneo.edu/wp-includes/images/new/writing-my-essay.html

The Right Rites

A bus on a busy street struck a Catholic man. He was lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathered. “A priest.  Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasped. Long seconds dragged on but no one stepped out of the crowd.buy lasix online pridedentaloffice.com/wp-content/languages/new/over/lasix.html no prescription   

The Economics of Divorce

  A woman says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Jeff ! All he wants is sex, and my you-know-what is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be about the size of a nickel.” 

Man Tools Explained

Aaaah…so this explains the $10,000 or so  invested in the Garage! DRILL  PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner […]

A Cozy Bit of Nostalgia

Remember when… All of the girls had ugly gym uniforms? It took five minutes for the TV to warm up? Nobody owned a purebred dog? When a quarter was a decent allowance?