Wish You Had Never Said It?

money funnies

We all have those moments when we wish we could pull back something we’ve just said. Here are some moments these people will never forget.

Public Address. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her humiliation when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, “PRICE CHECK ON LANE THREE, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE.” That was bad enough; but the guy in back misunderstood the word “Tampax” for “thumbtacks.” In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. “DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?
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Do you ever not quite believe your child? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.
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It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said “No.” I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled.
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“SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!” While 30 people! nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

Live on the air. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any? This happened on the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t. A female news anchor who turned to the weatherman and asked: “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?
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” Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Courtesy of my cousin, Ziva, in Israel.

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Clean jokes preferred.