Money Punnies and more

Ask TaxMama - Money Funnies

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Then I decided on bookkeeping. No accounting for taste.

Where do accountants live? In a columnar pad.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
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Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
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When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
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All the toilets in London’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
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Details are sketchy.

Courtesy of my cousin Ziva in Israel…
With some of my own additions

Read more Money Funnies and Inspiration here:
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