No Accounting For Universal Truths

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull
on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is

a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around
the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these
days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make

it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,

“I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here,
and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there?
I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bottom.”

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
song about him?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

[Courtesy of Blake Sanford, EA in San Diego – Thanks!]