Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University

  • He had only one major publication.
  • It was in Hebrew; had no references; wasn’t published in an academic journal; and some doubt he wrote it himself.
  • He may have created the world, but what has he done since?
  • The scientific community cannot replicate his results.
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  • He never received permission from the ethics board to use human subjects.
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  • When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
  • He rarely came to class; telling the students to, “Read the book.”
  • Some say he had his son teach the class.
  • He expelled his first two students.
  • His office hours were irregular and sometimes held on a mountain top.
  • Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed.

    Courtesy of David Jackson in Northridge, CA

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