If My Body Were a Car

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull … But that’s not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close.
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My intake manifold is clogged with sludge.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My hoses have hardened and need to be replaced.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
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It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here’s the worst of it—
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh…..
either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

Courtesy of Claire Olinger in California

Please remember to send us your humor. Clean jokes preferred. And if you want more male-oriented jokes – SEND THEM TO ME!
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