Tag Archives: lawyer

Numbers – Clean or Dirty?

A mother overhears her 5 year-old doing his addition tables. 2 plus 2 “the son of a bitch” is 4.buy albuterol online www.mabvi.org/wp-content/languages/new/usa/albuterol.html no prescription 3 plus 3 “the son of a bitch” is 6. He tells his mother that’s what the teacher is teaching. So Mom has a conversation with the teacher, which yields […]

Will I live to see 85?

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 85?buy xifaxan online blackmenheal.org/wp-content/languages/new/mg/xifaxan.html no prescription https://londonbes.education/Media/new/best-essay-writing-service.html ’ He asked, ‘Do you […]

Math in the 20th and 21st Centuries

1. Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or .buy amoxil online https://apwh.org/wp-content/languages/new/amoxil.html […]

Telemarketer

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, “Is this George Jiggerstein?” This didn’t sound anything like my name, so I asked, “Who is calling?” The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then […]

Open Your Mind to the Possibilities

“Rabbi,” the man said, “Explain the Talmud to me.” “Very well,” he said. “First, I will ask you a question. If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?” “The dirty one,” answers the man. “No. They look at each other and the […]

Cost of Road Rage

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her […]

Nine expressions women use…

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch […]

Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University

He had only one major publication. It was in Hebrew; had no references; wasn’t published in an academic journal; and some doubt he wrote it himself. He may have created the world, but what has he done since? The scientific community cannot replicate his results.buy veklury online pridedentaloffice.com/wp-content/languages/new/over/veklury.html no prescription He never received permission from […]

Just How Smart ARE You?

Today’s Money Funnies column is a collection of fun things to watch or play with – sent in by folks like you – and fun stuff I found. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?https://redemperorcbd.com/wp-content/languages/new/xifaxan.html Take the test. Just how smart are you? Find out by taking a free PhD-certified IQ Test at Tickle.com. Are […]

Speaking English Is Apparently Bad for Your Health

DEAR DOCTOR: Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That’s like saying you can extend the life of […]

Truth

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. ~ Albert Einstein Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad. ~ Aldous Huxley Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth. ~ Alexander Solzhenitsyn When truth is discovered by someone else, it loses something of […]