Tag Archives: Joke

Famous People in History – If They Had Jewish Mothers

MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?” COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered. Not a card, not a letter!”

Be Careful What You Wish For

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God. He said, “God, if you are  real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 minutes!” Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying,”Here […]

One Smart Quacker

Danny Duck walked into a bar and asked for some crackers. The bartender said no. The next day Danny Duck went into the bar again and asked for some crackers. The bartender said no.

Putting the US Budget into Perspective

Let’s see how the U.S. Budget stacks up to a household budget, shall we? In order to compare apples to apples, we are using the numbers based on the same fiscal year – 2009, since that is the most current set of numbers available from the IRS. We will show you how the U.S. budget […]

Keeping Medical Bills Down

Recently a friend told me that she is paying more for her share of the company’s health insurance. Several others have had the same complaint. We all through Obama’s Health Care plan would reduce our costs, based on the concept of  ‘economies of scale.“ Well then, the best way to keep our medical costs low is to stay […]

The Economics of Divorce

  A woman says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Jeff ! All he wants is sex, and my you-know-what is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be about the size of a nickel.” 

Why We Need Education Benefits

In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. Fundamentally, the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

Tax Jokes and Groaners

Psychiatrists say a man shouldn’t keep too much to himself. So does the IRS. (Beckie Shiles) I just finished my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get wounded by a blank? (Henny Youngman) Visiting Washington D.C., Dana wanted to see the White House for the first time. At the gate Dana asked the guard, […]

Putting Your Affairs in Order

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I have some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.’ The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. ‘Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and […]

Numbers – Clean or Dirty?

A mother overhears her 5 year-old doing his addition tables. 2 plus 2 “the son of a bitch” is 4. 3 plus 3 “the son of a bitch” is 6. He tells his mother that’s what the teacher is teaching. So Mom has a conversation with the teacher, which yields 2 plus 2 “the sum […]

Telemarketer

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, “Is this George Jiggerstein?” This didn’t sound anything like my name, so I asked, “Who is calling?” The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then […]