Tag Archives: Humor

Reflections and Giving Thanks, I Think

THE SENILITY PRAYER God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Famous People in History – If They Had Jewish Mothers

MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?” COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered. Not a card, not a letter!”

Even the Smartest Man Doesn’t Understand Income Taxes

–  The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax.  Albert Einstein – I am sure I could understand income taxes if I put my mind to them. But if I took the time to do that, the world would be deprived of many of my books. Isaac Asimov (wrote over 500 books)   – If […]

Getting Real Value from Your Charitable Deductions

Harry and Esther are flying to Australia for a 3 week holiday to celebrate their 40th anniversary.   Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an […]

One Smart Quacker

Danny Duck walked into a bar and asked for some crackers. The bartender said no. The next day Danny Duck went into the bar again and asked for some crackers. The bartender said no.

Goldilocks With a Twist

Goldilocks was walking along one sunny afternoon when she found a beautiful house in the woods. The door was open, so she walked right in. There she found a table set with three bowls of steaming porridge. “Hello?” she called out, but no one was home.

Putting the US Budget into Perspective

Let’s see how the U.S. Budget stacks up to a household budget, shall we? In order to compare apples to apples, we are using the numbers based on the same fiscal year – 2009, since that is the most current set of numbers available from the IRS. We will show you how the U.S. budget […]

Marriage Seminar

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

Sand, Stone, and Paper

Two friends were walking through the desert .  During some point of the journey, they had an argument; and one friend slapped the other one in the face.  The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand , “today my best friend slapped me in the face .”  They […]

How to Tell the Truth – Creatively

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest sitting beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor? “Of course, child. What may I do for you? “Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened, and well over the Customs limits. I’m afraid they’ll confiscate […]