Category Archives: Money Funnies

There is no Egg in Eggplant

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. There’s no bread in breadfruit.

Meals Deduction Barely Covers Price of Coffee

If you think American tax laws are tough on meals and entertainment, read this story recently reported by Chelm on the Web. The Israel Tax Authority finally updated the amount that the independently employed can put down on their tax returns as expenditures for wining and dining a business associate. It took a High Court […]

Outwitting Customer Service Systems

A little Jewish woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, “Hello,  darling, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information  regarding your patients. I want to know if the patient is getting better, or doing like expected, or is getting worse. The voice on the other end of the line said, “Could you […]

Getting Real Value from Your Charitable Deductions

Harry and Esther are flying to Australia for a 3 week holiday to celebrate their 40th anniversary.   Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an […]

One Smart Quacker

Danny Duck walked into a bar and asked for some crackers. The bartender said no. The next day Danny Duck went into the bar again and asked for some crackers. The bartender said no.

Goldilocks With a Twist

Goldilocks was walking along one sunny afternoon when she found a beautiful house in the woods. The door was open, so she walked right in. There she found a table set with three bowls of steaming porridge. “Hello?” she called out, but no one was home.

Putting the US Budget into Perspective

Let’s see how the U.S. Budget stacks up to a household budget, shall we? In order to compare apples to apples, we are using the numbers based on the same fiscal year – 2009, since that is the most current set of numbers available from the IRS. We will show you how the U.S. budget […]

Ready for the Paddy wagon

  Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy” he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says “It seems calm enough to me”.  Paddy says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet”.  

What have we learned in 2066 years?

“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”    – Cicero – 55 BC […]

Put On your Thinking Cap – A Quiz

Put your thinking cap on and don’t cheat… 1. In the 1940’s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located? a. On the floor shift knob b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch c. Next to the horn