The Numbers Never Lie

SACRAMENTO—A public school teacher was arrested today at Los Angeles International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide rule, and a multi-function calculator.

At a morning press conference, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra continues to be a problem for us,” Schwarzenegger said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.

They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say,’ There are 3 sides to every triangle.’”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes!”
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Courtesy of Bob Whitaker from www.TaxMiniMiser.com

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