The Important Things in Life

money funnies

I planted some bird seed.  A bird came up. Now I don’t know  what to feed it.
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I had amnesia once — or twice.
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I went to San Francisco .  I found someone’s heart. Now what?
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Protons have mass?  I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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All  I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.
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What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
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Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
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My weight is perfect for my height — which varies.
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I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
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The high cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
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How can there be self-help “groups”?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
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Is it just me–or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?

Courtesy of Roberta Livingston in Virginia
Co-Conspirator to Make the World a Better Place!

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Clean jokes preferred.

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