Retirement Planning – Economizing on Nursing Homes

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $192.00, there is a better way when we get old and feeble.

I have ascertained that I can get a nice room at the Holiday Inn for around $80.00. That leaves $112.00 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

They have a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc.  Most have free toothpaste,  free shampoo, lotions and soap. There’s a TV and coffee maker – and you get maid service, too. There’s always someone around, if you need company.

Besides, there’s none of that old people, musty urine smell at a Holiday Inn. It’s like you’re on vacation, instead of imprisoned.

Motel  6 is even more economical (about half price), though you usually have to walk next door for meals.

There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that’s OK, it takes months to get into  decent nursing homes.   There is the Senior Bus, the Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van, cabs, and even a regular bus.  And some of the Holiday Inns will even shuttle you to nearby attractions.

For a change of lunch take the Airport Bus and eat at one of the  fast food cafe’s there.

Or for variety, you could stay at a different Holiday Inn, in a different city each month! In fact, with all the money you’re saving on nursing home care, you could even splurge and stay at a Holidey Inn overseas.

The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop over, they will call an ambulance. And should you break a hip, the American Way is to sue. 

What more can you ask for?

As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts. And they’ll give you an even better rate for long-term rentals.

So:
When I reach the Golden age,
help me keep my grin. 
Just check my old rickety butt
into the nearest Holiday Inn!

Courtesy of  the old I-HelpDesk & WebReview – with a little updating by TaxMama.

Please remember to send us your humor and your inspiration.
Clean jokes preferred.

Read more Money Funnies and Inspiration here:
https://taxmama.wpengine.com/category/asktaxmama/money-funnies/