A New Addition To The Family

money funnies

This is a true story, reprinted with permission. Does this delivery qualify as a dependent this year?

You decide.

Nagendra’s  account of what happened:

I’m sure my wife Allison will have a different story to tell about this delivery but here’s how I saw it.

4am
Waking with tremendous abdominal pain. “What the heck is this?” Maybe got stomach flu from Benjamin’s daycare. Throwing up might be the cure. Fingers down the throat. Nothing comes up. Pain continues and some screaming begins.

5am
Comfortable fetal-type position on the bed seems to make pain go away for the next hour.

6am
Tremendous pain returns. Makes sense to go to the hospital just in case. Car ride to hospital is filled with even more pain and screaming reaches new level. Upon reaching the hospital pain miraculously disappears. Now what? Just hang out?

7am
Still at hospital and sharp pain begins again. Doubled over. Can’t stand. Can’t speak. Nurse calls for wheelchair transport to ER. Lotta red-tape paperwork has to be dealt with before getting an actual room and bed. Typical ER scene where if you are not bleeding to death they don’t care about you. So clearly the solution is to start wailing at a whole new level. Finally a resident pops in. “What’s wrong?” “The pain. It’s so bad.” “Ok I’ll get someone.”

7:30am
Nurse walks in with an IV bag. “This is morphine. It should do the trick for now, but the latter could be worse or not. It’s different for everyone. We also going to pump you full of fluids as well.” “How quick does the morphine work?” “Pretty quick. You’ll see.” Ahhhh, sleepy time…

8:30am
Time to push. Wow what a mess. Whoa here is comes. Man that was surprisingly easy and thank god it is over.

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Attached is a picture. 3mm in length. < 1 oz in weight. Name still un-determined.

I hope no one ever has to pass a kidney stone.

What did you think I was talking about?

Maya Jean Singh? Who happened to be born a few hours earlier at 1:30 am before this whole ordeal began? Nah. That’s Allison’s story to tell.

Courtesy of Nagendra Singh who is a very evocative writer, isn’t he?

And it’s great to know that Allison and baby are just fine.

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