MY RESUME

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it, mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a cook wanting to add some spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I got fired because my performance wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job at a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a physical health club center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks coffee shop, but I quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB

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Contributed by Ziva in Israel

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